Ah, the sheep obsession,

It all started when I was a little

My grandmother handed me the ugliest ball of vile green yarn and a crochet hook, and I made chains thousands of feet long.

And then I put it down for years. Sometime around my early 20’s I decided to try my hand at knitting, so I learned to knit. Off and on and off and on, and I discovered something amazing about it. Mostly it was this revelation that this skill, this pastime was once necessary for survival. I felt this strange backwards time link to all the women over the past hundreds and hundreds of years who sat and knit socks and blankets and clothing for their families to keep them warm while harvesting. The same sort of revelation led me into quilting and sewing, but knitting holds a special place in my heart.

The more and more I thought about the process, I felt it was incomplete. Yes, I can turn fabric into blankets and clothing; I can turn string into mittens, but what about the yarn? (or thread?) Where does that come from?

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There is a place I’ll show you
A dark room
Dark rivers of the heart love

Sit down now
Put up your feet
Take off your shoes and coat

Come closer
Come closer
Just a little bit closer to me angel

I wanna show you where my dreams come from

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I've been pondering this today, maybe I don't need to be understood, maybe i've been looking for the wrong thing? I kind of really like to be on my own.

I don't know.

in any case, happy new year.

Quiet spaces
Precious commodities
Places where
The world
Stands
Still

Hush now, hush

Empty rooms
And abandoned church yards

Big

Wide

Fields

Of grass

Jewels cast at the feet of swine

A buffer zone
Betwixt the voices of the world

And the voices in my head

A DMZ for between me

And everything else

The serenity of a blank canvas
Calm between the storms

Whisper of falling leaves

The silence of snowfall at night.

Just hush

Apparently, this year is cursed, and I can’t wait for it to be over.

On Saturday, my parents house burned down, and as a result we had to put our family pets to sleep. Holly (our schnauzer) and Jade (my sisters’ sweetie kitten) both suffered severe smoke inhalation, and were rescued by the fire department. Unfortunately they would not have survived more then a few days, so rather then have them suffer, we decided to put them to sleep. We were there with them. To say that it broke my heart would be a sincere understatement. I’ve barely stopped crying since Saturday. My family lost everything and are now staying in a hotel.

Then Sunday afternoon we received a phone call from one of my circle sisters. She told us that her boyfriend’s grandmother had just passed away,

Then, this afternoon, my sister just called to inform me that a friend of hers had OD’d on what they think is muscle relaxers, and his condition is yet to be determined.

Blessed bloody Yule.

Come on 2009, you gotta be better then this.